There is an awesome quote by Abraham-Hicks that goes like this:

The reason that anybody you know, even you, has ever misbehaved, ever, even one time, is because you have not been feeling your power. And you have been trying to make up for it in some way that really is impossible.

Where, when you are in sync with who you are, AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Then the cells of your body are all communicating, you’re thriving! Your mind is sharp, you’re clear minded, you have balance, love is flowing through you. The best of life is a vibrational match to you, everywhere you go, doors are opening. People who are watching you are wondering what magical power you have.

And even though they won’t understand it when you say it, it’s the power of the vortex, the power of alignment. It’s the power of synching up with who I am. It’s the power of being real time, present tense, tuned in, tapped in, turned on to the frequency of ALL that I have become. It’s me, full on, full blown. Me full ON!

That’s what this power is about, you see.

San Diego 8/21/10

We often in this world feel we have to take action based on our “feelings” about things.  While using intuition and feeling is a good practice, the difference in whether our actions will lead to positive results is really in the basis for those feelings.  Are they coming from being tuned in and tapped in to “the vortex” where all things are possible or are they coming from a feeling of fear, lack, powerlessness?

Do you see how different life would be if you were making choices based not in negative and low vibrations but in knowing that you are perfect the way you are and so is everyone else?

We aren’t here to teach other people lessons because we know better or have gotten it sooner than they did.  We are not here to project our own fears onto others and make them bad.  We are here to create and enjoy our natural environment in all its beautiful and varied glory.

I love music and dancing.  While living in the Twin Cities I have attended many different music shows and DJ nights.  I have often run into some of the same people in these venues who clearly are also enjoying the music as I am.  What I have noticed, however, is that the connection between us (i.e. liking the same music/venue/life in the Twin Cities) can be interpreted in one of two ways – a clear recognition that we are connected in the power of music and may indeed see each other around town at the same venues to share in the moment, dancing, laughing and raising the energy (vibration) of the place OR, from a position of fear/powerlessness.

In the moment particular people feel fear/powerless as part of the vibration of the position they are in, they have been taught to take action to mitigate the fear and it is here the problems begin.

Some will try and control others through putting them down (making snide comments about dress/appearance/sexuality).  Some will suggest that a person they see more than once is there because of some desire to follow them around (i.e. making themselves more powerful by being in the victim place), or they will simply and effectively shut them out altogether.

In the end, the emptiness that grows from the step of taking action while being out of the vibrational vortex leads the person who is taking the action further and further out of the vortex.  They essentially become more and more uncomfortable, and disconnected from their own Truth .  The continued blame game becomes a sword that is not being address to other (the projected upon party) but into their own system…unmaking them as they do it.

All the while, they keep wondering why their life is getting worse…as though someone outside of them is in charge of this when in fact it is their own actions that are creating the vibrational anomaly.

If we are in the Vortex – aligned, feeling powerful, feeling the connection to the source of all that is – we can see others as they are meant to be seen – as a part of us.  Everyone and everything becomes a source of magic!

Our fellow humans may not be our best friend but they are in our space making their way in the world, creating their own picture and getting on with things as best as they can.  They aren’t to be feared but enjoyed, and sometimes whether it turns into a long-lasting friendship or just an enjoyable dance – we can connect with them and expand in ways that we weren’t expecting when we bumped into them.

Are there areas in your life where you could be more tuned in – tapped into the Vortex?  Are there areas where fear and feelings of powerlessness have led you to taking action that only lead to more of the same result?  How can you address and adjust your vibration in the moment so that you can take action from a position within The Vortex rather than outside of it?

I am reflecting on all 2010 has been.  This time last year, the idea of moving to Minneapolis, Minnesota was a (sort of) tentative idea.  I growing and nagging feeling that my heart and soul was intended to be there but my head was trying to “figure out” logistics.

Should I or Shouldn’t I?  The mantra of my 2009 New Year as  the things that had exploded after October were causing wellsprings of fear and trepidation as to my abilities to really survive.

Moved here I did, however, really coming for good at the beginning of March and surviving ever since.

Maybe there were some downs but mostly there were plenty of ups and I spent the summer attending various music shows, dancing to good music and getting to know the “energies” of the Twin Cities.

I am enjoying every aspect of the weather – even the adventure of getting stuck in one record-breaking blizzard and ice-storm almost back to-back.  All the well-meaning people who worried I’d not survive the Minnesota winter can stop worrying…well at least until January and February (J)

Of all the dreams I had for last year, many of them were tabled in favor of traversing the many retrogrades we had in 2010 – Venus, Chiron, Neptune and our usual friend, Mercury were just a few of the planets that went over old territory last year– nevermind, the numerous and constant Star Gates in which the planet was downloaded with new expansive energies all for our growth and expansion.

I look forward to 2011 because I think many of the dreams I had on the table for 2010 (other than the move itself) will manifest this year.  I can FEEL it…beyond anytime before I feel I am ready to go forth and prosper (to use a Star Trek term).

I think the biggest lesson that was honed in for me in 2010 was to stop seeing things as “bad” or “good.”  I got out of judging my experiences, for the most part, and instead enjoy them in the moment.  Even when things are difficult, I realize that they are in my highest good – I see that they are leading to what I want AND that I am being protected.

I went through many job ups and downs this year but in each one I become more clear about what I wanted.  Also I could see that it wasn’t about ME at all but a much larger and bigger picture.  In the end, I was taken care of financially, could do everything I wanted (within reason) and enjoyed good food, wine, music and friends throughout the year.  I hardly every felt or was deprived even when I was not working!

Last night I was re-watching “The Holiday,” with Jude Law.  It was appropriate because my Money Honey looks just like him in that movie and because a year ago New Year’s we watched his movie in my parent’s house in California.  Now here I was house-sitting in Mineapolis with a white Christmas going on outside.

If you have read my Facebook status messages, you know I write “short short stories” about a character I call “The Captain.”  This is the name I give to my Twinflame/soulmate energy I work with in a conscious evolution prior to our physical relationship manifesting.  I have already met several people working in this manner in the metaphysical community.  As we leave 3D reality and enter fully into 5D (dimensional) reality – the concept of creating in Spirit before the physical will become more commonplace.  For now I realize reading these stories is a challenge to many and that’s what I hope to do with writing them – bridge the gap between one way of thinking and behaving into a new way.

If you are lost or challenged by new concepts coming to you, while your friends are more relative to the physical, you will appreciate that you are not the only one going through this!

At any rate, just realize that all things, including our relationships are created in the non-physical realms first…and those that are willing can work consciously on creating the relationship of their dreams SPIRITUALLY first, including maybe even knowing WHO it is before it is a relationship you can both BE in…

I know this will come across as challenging to understand if you have not considered this before.  This is not the same as controlling or doing spells on someone to get what your EGO wants…it is working with energy in the form of LOVE, to grow yourself into alignment with the relationship which is part of your soul contract work on the planet.

I will write more about this in 2011.  In the meantime, enjoy your holiday and really and truly embrace the LOVE  in your heart and soul!

I walked in the snow last night as the light, white flakes fell benevolently like kisses from the sky.  The powers that be weren’t plowing, it would have been silly, perhaps since the newly plowed roads and walkways would most assuredly be covered again before long.

I came home from Campus Pizza where I’d shared a long conversation with the bartender about life, The Gophers, biking in the Twin Cities, her boyfriend and snow.

I decided to shovel the walkways of our house at midnight just for fun.  The walkway was covered over again by morning but I am still glad I shoveled snow.  The light from the streetlights, reflecting off the pure white gave the neighborhood an opalescent glow.

I had seen a jackrabbit run through the parking lot of the townhouses across the street while I was talking to my friend Penny.  She said, “There’s your fertility sign.”

I smiled at that.  It is great to have friends who can see the magic of life, ones like Penny who don’t just push aside your “signs and symbols” as myth and stupidity.  Penny recognizes the mark of the goddess as she sends the jackrabbit across the white snow in front of my bedroom window.  A sure sign of growth, beauty and life, even during the cold snowy night, the rabbit quickly made his way out past my view.  He gave me his message with the bob of his tail and moved on.

I dreamt of The Captain and I having a conversation and hanging out in a living room, somewhere.  Is it the future?  I do not know.  His presence is getting closer, it seems.  He spoke of seeing signs, also in his life, of awakening to some psychic powers – seeing things he wasn’t sure where real, or knowing things before they occurred.  It’s all so new for him and disconcerting.

I get a feeling that his friends may not be as supportive or understanding of his burgeoning world view.  They may just not get it.  They have fears about things that they cannot prove, perhaps.  They’ve been taught that Santa doesn’t exist and they choose to believe that when you are an adult, you stop acting like a child – full of wonder and magic.

When we open to our gifts, there is often a fear that we are losing our sanity.  How could this really be happening to me?  You are afraid of being judged and condemned; sent away from the pack or the group into a world of loneliness and ostracism.  Maybe you know someone who was ostracized.

I think it is easy to find evidence for whatever you believe.   If you are a closeted something or other, you can find so many evidence based examples of how you probably should stay in the closet to be “safe.”  What if that belief that you will not be safe, leads you to create the evidence?

What would happen if you ventured outside of the closet?  If you were fully and authentically yourself what would be the result?

When we live an empowered life – a life that is you being fully expressed – we give rise to the notion that we can truly love ourselves – warts/gifts/attributes/talents and all.

No one is born with something wrong with them.  We are what we are for a purpose.  We can end the struggle with being accepted when we accept that we are indeed exactly as we need to be.  There’s nothing wrong with us at the core.

If you were to see yourself as naturally creative, resourceful and whole – complete as you are and here for a purpose, how would that change the way you perceive your interactions with others?

Would you have compassion for the blindness that creates the need in them to see you as anything but whole?  Would you sense their judgments and accusations in a new light?  Could you open your resources – mind, heart, body – to present confidence as a mindset of “I am whole” and see what evidence shows up to support that vision?

It is true that you may have to find new friends, or be patient with the ones you have.  It is true that in being truly authentic you may have to “hear” some accusations that you aren’t acting the way you used to or that you frighten those who used to be friends to you.  It is true, you may have to run on your own steam and seek validation in those who can support the new vision.  In the end, however, in wholeness and authenticity, you are free to be.  There is a freedom from this viewpoint that no other way of being allows.

You will learn a level of compassion and heart for those who choose to live in a box of sameness out of fear.  You may see, in time, how gray and empty that world of sameness appears in the face of those who choose such a path.

You will know yourself on a deep and consecrated level.  You cannot be hurt because you know the truth of your wholeness…those accusations and ostracisms will seem strange and silly to you.  What’s the point of that stuff, you will say.  You will experience love on a grander, bigger scale, so powerful it can only come from a connection to the source of All That Is…from the core of you – being YOU.

Busyness abounds this holiday season.  I have made many changes to be more in alignment with who I am right now.  While all my experiences since moving to the Twin Cities have had their purpose under the sun, I felt it was time to adjust my time to effort ratio and concentrate on new endeavors.

I got grounded in the Cities by working at the Mall of America.  I found the energy of the Mall grounded me and helped me adjust to my new life.  All good things change, though and I found going such a long distance and dealing with the retail environment no longer felt right.  Something had shifted in my eight months living in this city and the mall job just wasn’t for me any longer. Besides, it was meant to be part-time and fun, and both those aspects were lost with changes at the store.

After some hemming and hawing, I got out before the holiday rampage and came back to sanity once again.

I find myself ready to tackle my coaching practice and have set-up a weekly group coaching session I named “Bridging the Gap,” to assist people in career and life transitions.  The session will be held at The Healing Loft in NE Minneapolis.

The center, run by some awesome healers is a heart-based business established as a space for healing.  It is a burgeoning community of like-minded individuals.  I look forward to seeing what this association brings forward.

Check out The Healing Loft at http://www.thehealingloftmpls.com/

One of the things I notice now, is the feeling of fear or desperation that the changing world environment can engender in some.  It’s easy to feel desperate when jobs are being lost, relationships are shifting and changing and things don’t seem to work the same as before.

In my experience, many corporations are choosing to hire temps rather than full-time employees.  There are no benefits or perks and the transient nature of the temp job; if that’s not what you want, can make it difficult to manage finances or schedules.

What if we were able to see the changing landscape not as a sign of bleak opportunities but as a new drawing board for potential growth and aspiration?  Change as a catalyst for new ways of thinking. Instead of harping about the “economy” like it is a real thing, static and out of your control – consider new ways of making money.  In fact, see money in a whole new light.

Develop a relationship of flow and abundance that is not about “want” devoid of meaning but instead has purpose and heart to back it up.   When we are not in touch with our feelings – then the need to cover up feelings of fear, shame or lack with over-indulgent purchases, prompts many  to say “I can’t afford this, oh my!”  The circle is complete with worse feelings.

Instead, try to move from positions of lack and fear to a feeling of joy attached to non-material situations like the beauty of snow falling in winter or the light of the candle in the living room.  Maintaining positive feeling, no matter the external circumstance will allow you the creative power to move mountains. If you can’t buy gifts for the holidays – consider a a more personal expression of love – such as spending time together doing something you all enjoy or volunteering.

My favorite money coach, Morgana Rae says to reframe the way you describe your money situation by saying “It’s not a financial priority,” instead of “I can’t afford.”  Doing so feels so different – one denotes personal choice and new thinking, the other a sense of lack and shame.

Sometimes when we think outside the box, seeing every opportunity as a new form of learning and experience, rather than a change we don’t want, we open our minds to new thoughts.  I was so busy worrying about getting to the mall on time, spending all those hours taking public transport from my home on the East Bank, Minneapolis to the Mall that I didn’t have time or energy to consider starting a support group.

In working with my skills and aspirations and looking at them more closely, I could adjust my situation to accommodate a potentially life changing career move, which didn’t fit into the mold.

What skills do you have from your job you just lost, which you could apply to a situation that doesn’t fit the usual thought patterns?  Have you considered starting your own business, consulting or blogging on a subject of interest?

I recently took up curling, a sport that is very popular in the Twin Cities.  The Saint Paul Curling Club is so impacted with new applicants for this Olympic sport, they turned hundreds away at the beginning of the season.  Instead of slinking away with the rest, I chose to hang out on Wednesday nights and meet new people.  Now I am subbing in on teams when members are sick or out of town.  I am enjoying the new social and physical activity and feeling quite at home at the club.

While you may, in the end have to continue in a 9-5pm job, expanding your creative expression and meeting new people in social media environments, networking groups or even starting a new activity/sport during your “slump” can be just enough of a catalyst to see a positive shift in your personal Law of Attraction.

A friend told me today that she was working on seeing people in a completely new way…as complete with their highs and lows, quirks and annoying habits as well as all their positives.  What a thought pattern change.  The shift enabled the other person to come more fully into their complete selves rather than act out roles or projections of others and some mutually satisfying results ensued.

What would life be like if we just became more open to the possibilities instead of living in limitations and skewed viewpoints of how things “should be.”  Maybe your friends or relatives don’t always act with the best intentions but who cares?  Neither do you.  Life is not black or white.

You’d be much better off if you can see what your friends are mirroring for you.  If there’s something you don’t like or that annoys you – what about that behavior is speaking to a part of you that isn’t being seen or recognized?  Guess what – it’s never about the other person…

Moving to Minneapolis has been challenging for me, to say the least.  Not everything has worked out perfectly, and some things like having my ring stolen from my hotel room, were downright violating.  I could have used that as a sign that things just weren’t meant to be, packed up my stuff and gone back to my comfort zone.

Except if I remember how boring my comfort zone had become before I chose to come to Minneapolis on this adventure, I might think again.

Friday I went to the Eitel building on Willow for L’Etoile Magazine’s Imagination Mechanism event.  I ate dinner at the Loring Park Kitchen dusted off with one of their yummy pomegranate martinis.  A girl could get used to this life.  The wait staff was really friendly and made me want to stick around for more but I had business to attend to up on the rooftop next door.

I can picture it now – cool apartment in the Eitel building and dinners/martinis at Loring Park Kitchen.  No one has accused me of dreaming too small.

All the fashion peeps from the Voltage show were there including Emma Berg wearing something ostentatiously frilly and fantastic from her collection with blue shoes (ok, I am sure there is a much more specific color to insert here such as teal?).  There were others with carefully selected vintage and still others with fur and fun baubles.  It’s all good at an L’Etoile party, I can see that now.

Still more fun ensued as we watched first hand the makings of the photo shoot L’Etoile has posted to their blog now (see link on the sidebar of this one) and our inner artist children all had way too much fun cutting and pasting magazines, creating our own fashion shoot layout storyboards.  Woo hoo!

Saturday was raining here in Minneapolis on and off.  I took Death Trap Suzie – the shared apartment bicycle – out to the lakes for a bit of toodling around the local bike trails and waterways.  I found it extremely uplifting and relaxing to eat my tuna fish sandwich, carrots and Doritos by the lake side while watching someone else fish.

The homes around the lakes made me consider living there too, someday.  I could totally see myself with an in home music studio for singer-songwriter parties, fashionable BBQs held in the outdoor kitchen and as my friend Luke said, once a month metal jams so as not to leave out any of the local metalheads.

(Insert pic of new home construction here)  – when it’s all ready to go I’ll invite you over for a soiree.

Saturday night I bussed it down to Washington. The bus driver went right past my stop, causing me to have to walk down Hennepin even longer than originally expected, and all the way down Washington to Club Jager (in heels!).  Please don’t try this sort of foolishness, especially when it begins to drizzle.  I grew up in England so a spot of rain doesn’t bother me as much as it might you.

People were already busting a move on the dance floor with Attitude City minus Karl and substituted handily with Ben Hribar.  I was accused of being the DJs girlfriend (yes, I answered, I’m girlfriend to both — best they don’t realize they made a polygamous commitment without knowing it), had my foot stomped on and my teeth almost knocked out (by the couple who was swing dancing into everyone) and given hugs by complete strangers.   How much more fun, exactly could a girl have and still be wearing clothes?

Circling back to openness… I know I’d like to get it all done, and all done now.  No doubt if I were to practice a bit more with my magic wand, I might just be able to do it.  Still, I only just saw Minneapolis for the first time last July and here I am sitting in the uptown Dunn Bros writing blogs.  What can I say?  I’m an over-achiever.  Come on, you know you are too sometimes!?

While you most certainly can’t do everything – there are so many things you can do.  While there are people you might not impress no matter how awesome your dance moves, your skill at writing or how electric your smile is, there are so many who will enjoy what you do and open their hearts, minds and souls to the gifts you bring forward.

No matter what people seem to be “doing” or “not doing” around me there is a place in the cosmic web for what I do.  Maybe I don’t always like what’s in the now but I realize there’s a complexity there, a Story where I am not always reading all the words, but could be.

I don’t give up too easily.  I just keep showing up knowing that with my open heart and the awesome love I have for the world filled with music, I just might win the hearts of even the most stubborn of you!  And if I don’t — I am having a damn good time without you.

I’ve been in Minneapolis/ St. Paul since March 1^st.  I came to see if I could move my project of relocating along on its stalwart path.  The first week, I signed up with my agencies in downtown Minneapolis and looked forward to the process of them working on my behalf to find me somewhere to set my hat.

I have been staying in Osseo this time.  Osseo is an outer suburb of the Twin Cities – a small town with old world character.  The downtown was redeveloped with sidewalks but the shops are not as inviting as one would hope – still there are some highlights.

I went to Duffy’s Bar and Grill in downtown Osseo, Monday.  A long bar with food and good cheer, you know instantly you aren’t in a big city.

The ladies with the Minnesota pull tabs sit behind their neon signs and stare outward waiting for the few patrons who wish to spend their time nursing a beer and pulling the tabs to see if they have won the big prize.

I can just see the hoping and wishing that leads to someone spending hard earned money on paper tabs in the bar, maybe imagining how their lives will be different if all goes well for them – this time.

I met Jazzy J, the owner of Twin Cities Radio www.twincitiesradio.net and a local music man on the night of my arrival.  He invited me to the Whiskey Junction on Cedar in Minneapolis for one of his live broadcast shows.

While the show was sparsely attended, it seems the music had purpose and muscle, especially one of the later bands to perform called “The Notties,” whose heavy rock licks were tight and too the point.  We all enjoyed them immensely and I hope to catch them again as I get to know the local scene.

I hit the ground running with my Akashic Record reading and clearings too – Pat, Jessi’s Mom had found me two clients who’d been waiting since the last time I was in town for their readings.  Then we had some work to do restoring spirit guides who were inadvertently cleared during a healing (not mine, someone else’s) and a few other readings and clearings followed.

I met new healers at the Restore Expo at The Depot in downtown Minneapolis Sunday March 7th and got some healing done on me too that day, which was particularly powerful.  I’m looking forward to continuing to try new healing modalties as well as forge ahead with additional rolfing sessions – I had session one before I left home for MSP and it really helped my chronic shoulder pain.

Jazzy and I plan another evening Thursday March 11^th – music, burgers and a long night of talking perhaps?  Jazzy is eager to help me find my footing here in the creative scene and what a scene it is…no end of music, art, mayhem.  I love it.

Jessi and I still have a little work to do on my site to get it humming and working for the end of the month when we will be vendors at The MN Shadows Faire in St. Paul.  The fair will be located at the historic Mounds Theater there and I will be signing books and conducting reduced cost readings for the people attending the event.

If you are in the St. Paul area, you should most definitely come between the hours of 12pm and 6pm March 27/28^th – check out my book, say hello and get a reading from me if you haven’t gotten one already.

I volunteered at the Dance Your Heart Out fundraiser held at the Mall of America on Saturday March 6^th.  I spent the whole day there, helping with the people coming on and off the stage, monitoring the timing of the events and schlepping performers from the Blue Room staging grounds to the rotunda where they were to perform.

The event raised awareness and funding for children and families dealing with HIV/ AIDS and for One Heartland, a children’s summer camp program.

I got to meet all kinds of interesting folks including Jonathan Bennett who MC’d most of the day as well as a host of local and national dance troupes.  I enjoyed being involved and hope to do it again next year.

If you want to check into this yourself and make a donation you still can – the website is www.danceyourheartout.org and the dancer that I was supporting was Kari Dornfeld.

The move to the Midwest continues to take shape.  I can’t believe I have come so far since that initial visit in July of last year.  I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the Twin Cities so much that I actually took action to move here – but moving here I am.

It’s amazing how things fall into place when they are meant to be.  Despite the ups and downs and tribulations I wrote about in my blogs on “Starving Artist Syndrome,” the lessons I learned and the shifts I made have enabled me to see money in a completely different light.

It’s not impossible to move your mind into a place of flow and abundance and do it in such a way that it changes the way you feel about everything.  If you are still struggling to really manifest your dreams and desires, there are plenty of resources.

I will continue to write about my own journey in the creative arts. I will add resources and support to this site as it builds and grows and eventually we hope to have a physical center where you can get the healing and support you need to achieve your dreams.  One day and one step at a time.  We grow together.

Quite a weekend folks, if I say so myself.  Seems the consensus is in and 2009 either “sucked”, “was a bad year” or “was hard/difficult/up and down” – whatever the descriptor you used, I haven’t heard that 2009 was anything but a year people were glad to see the back of!

Now that we can agree on this (for the most part), it seems people have high hopes for 2010.  I for one feel that the energy is rocking and moving and shaking – literally and figuratively.  In California, we had some earthquakes this past week, some of us are planning literal moves sometime this year and most people see change (in a good way) in 2010.

Friday evening was kicked off in style, with the return of Matthew Hansen to the stage at Blake’s in Berkeley, California.  Much later, when we write Matthew’s biography about his early years in the music business we will most definitely be adding Blake’s as one of his early “homes.”  Seems Matthew is well-loved EVERYTIME he plays there.

Matthew has been working hard on his material – we know of him as none other than a consummate showman and hard-working guitarist.  He has put considerable time into honing his craft and it shows, of course.

He is slowly working on his first album project, all eagerly anticipated by his adoring fans, his music producers and the people who have worked on the record in some physical capacity.  I know from personal experience these labors of love take WAAYYYY more time than you ever thought and the year you think it’s going to be done is usually well-underestimated.

Still, having wrapped up production on my own collection of short stories and poetry, which I began as an idea in 2005 I know the feeling and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I am now in the very beginnings of the promotion phase with my project – you do get there in the end!  Working diligently and never giving up is my motto for artists everywhere….you will get there.  Whenever Matthew does release his record – we’ll be waiting.

I understand that the cover photo for the artwork was taken Friday – a group shot involving some lovely ladies and dare I say it?  A crotch grab.    Ok, well…maybe he can include that one in the liner notes.

I continued my weekend by attending an all women “Moon Lodge” in San Jose with my book editor Mika.  We both performed our co-creation ritual with the group, met some lovely ladies and established our desire for spirit in all of you in 2010.  I found it very nurturing and beautiful, if not a bit daunting.  After all, I tend to be a lone ranger with my creations…coming into a sacred space and spilling my heart desires out has always been a bit nuts for me.  Still I am at peace and between my vision board and my powerful rituals to start off 2010 I am feeling that great vibe even more.  Plus, the power of one mind is certainly increased when a group is holding your vision sacred too!

Here I go out in the world with my creations – a new website forming around this blog, a move in the works to another state, no less and my book.  What are your creations, wishes and endeavors for 2010?  Go out and make them possible.  If you need help holding a vision – let me know – it’s one of my favorite things to do!

I made it through the holidays without bouncing checks (ie incurring an overdraft fee).  I must admit this new relationship to money feels great, although I felt uneasy, like being on new training wheels.  Am I doing this right, I asked?  And the Universe responded with an awesome sense of feeling supported in this endeavor.  That’s the key here – feeling supported.

I opened my new Wells Fargo savings account on New Year’s Eve.   I wanted to get that out of the way before the holiday and have it set-up for this week so I can put my checks in.  The employers can do direct deposit but my clients can’t always pay electronically.

I am much more eager to know exactly how much is in my account and how it’s all being posted.  That means looking almost daily at my accounts.  How does this leave me feeling?  I think the word I’d use is “empowered” which is definitely how I felt the energy shift into 2010.

If you aren’t there yet, don’t worry – plenty of resources around here to help you get started.

This week I will be able to finish closing out my Chase bank accounts.  While they did remove that one overdraft charge, as promised, I simply don’t trust them anymore to hold my money.  I realize that my new habits would prevent some of the same issues that occurred before, and yet, I feel much more confident I won’t backslide (or they won’t post in weird ways) as a customer of another bank!

For some immediate help with your money this year, check out Morgana Rae’s Financial Alchemy workbook and financial empowerment products at http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1102231

Obtain her Financial Alchemy workbook – one I have been using for 3 years now to organize your planning for 2010 – it is a unique process that Morgana takes you through during the year and it primes your mind and changes your relationship to and thoughts about money. It’s an excellent tool.

The workbook and CD have been invaluable assets and my mindset has changed dramatically since I started, I do not think I’d have this blog or other aspects of my business in place – including my coaches training – without Morgana’s help and guidance.  I’m happy to be a Financial Alchemy affiliate, as well.

The holiday season has come and gone and we’re in a new decade.  I let go of so much at the end of last year and I bet you did too.  I think of it as “cleaning house” even if my house is my own mind.

I dealt with deep feelings of grief over the loss of my dog and as each new step of working with money differently came to fruition, so did all the hidden feelings I was keeping down and expressing through poor money management!  Yes, we express feelings through our money and the way we speak about it and how our bank accounts look directly reflect those feelings we aren’t dealing with.

I finished my 2010 Magic and Manifestation Board – a vision board of images and words that express to me what I want to bring forward this year.  I started the process last year with great results – many of the images I had posted came true in the course of 2009!

This year I plan for some BIG things – moving to Minneapolis/ St. Paul is top on my list.  I have enjoyed my trips so much that I really see myself both working my business and living my life in the twin cities.  I am not sure exactly how this is going to take place, yet but I trust that my mind and my vision will get me there in the easiest and quickest way possible!

I hope 2010 brings you great things in your art and visions.  May we move away from “Starving Artists” and become whole, creative and thriving ones instead!

Two things happened today – I caught my old bank, Chase red-handed with that thing I knew they were doing but couldn’t prove they were doing AND my direct deposit was moved to the new bank, giving me even more leverage.

Last week’s move to become less vague and more on top of my financial picture paid off handsomely even though it wasn’t quite in the way I had pictured it.

What happened, you ask?

I developed that Excel spreadsheet that tracks my week’s income and expenses in a colorful and dynamic way.  I was able to visualize easily for the first time my budget to expense ratios and know exactly on a minute by minute basis what I have in the accounts.  I’m finding it fun instead of laborious and my inner child likes the use of color…

Because I had not been spending any money in the last month, paying off that humongous overdraft, I had finally caught up with the online exchange of money to purchases.  I went into Quicken, updated manually because Chase had done something weird to the system and I could no longer download onto the old version of Quicken.  I was able to get my online balance and my Quicken balance to match exactly – something that I hadn’t been able to do in months!

Everything I had paid for was input, the charges had stopped and the money flow was exact to the penny.  I then began the process of switching banks – this was easy as INGDirect is so well set-up and easy to use and you can open a checking account online with as much money as you want to put in there to start.  Granted, it is not a bank where you can make manual deposits but since most of my income comes from direct deposit, it works, for now.  I will need some sort of manual deposit account though in the future.

I had some expenses to go through last week and had about $40 left for the weekend before my next paycheck.  Making these adjustments, I believe led to me lose the contract I had with my last position during the same week I had been beginning my new program.  Why do I say this?   All of this work is shifting “energy” in the form of money and time.  When I started to shift into living from a heart level in my banking and beliefs around money, it shifted my situation at work too.

Normally, this might seem like a huge set back, however, I hadn’t been happy in that position for some time.  The atmosphere was draining and the negative emotions surrounding the place had been affecting my moods so much I often came home angry and upset.  This was not the place for me!

My seasonal job at BabyGap has turned into my only source of income for the time being but I am much happier – go figure!

In the end, I spent a little here and there over the weekend and then had an unexpected expense crop up.  I had planned to pay my $106 Verizon bill the following Tuesday but found the phone cut off during an important situation on Saturday, when I basically needed my phone operational.  I made the informed decision to make this one time charge, knowing it would go through on the overdraft.

I knew I was almost out of cash – well, I guess one charge going over couldn’t be that bad – at least it would be reasonable to pay off and then close the account right?

Come Tuesday, my paycheck went through to my new bank – good news!

When I went to the Chase account to see what happened with that one charge – my jaw dropped as I was now not $95 overdrawn with one $33 overdraft charge – but overdrawn to a total of $264!

Upon further investigation of this, I found that all the charges I had made – starting Friday night – $2.55 for a Starbucks Mocha and then the few things from Saturday – $4.10 at Peets, $20.20 at Union76 & $8.55 at the pharmacy….totaling a measly $32.85 – still remaining under balance…had gone through AFTER the Verizon bill – which was made last!!!

This enabled the account to go under first and achieve a whopping FIVE overdraft charges totaling $165.

Nice one Chase…nice one.

Yes, it is happening…and on purpose.  I’m not crazy!

The BIG difference this week – my income – money coming in DID NOT go to pay this overdraft debacle…

Even more satisfying – I have the receipts and the evidence needed to walk into Chase and ask them WTH is going on with their posting scheme.

Also, since I have been posting these blogs, I already feel the tide turning –even if ever so slowly.  Friends of mine feel much more empowered in handling their cash and the banks….you go people!

What’s next?  I am actively pursuing leads for positions in start-up companies where I feel most comfortable working – in family-like environments.  I am still working for the agency although with the holidays may not hear back from them until the New Year.  BabyGap, is a great part-time job.  I’m also continuing to build The Malevolent Empress – the book is awaiting cash for the distribution and potential coaching clients show up all the time.

My coaching skills are excellent – I move people from point A to point Z and they dynamically change their lives – I have seen it happen and I enjoy the work.  Eventually, this will be what I do fulltime.  In the meantime, I am learning how to eradicate starving artist syndrome permanently and forever from our vocabulary!

It’s freezing in my office.  I need an extra sweater but didn’t even think to put it on this morning.   I was stuck thinking ahead to tonight when I train on the register at my seasonal retail position.  I feel out of time and out of sorts.

Last night, I created the most beautiful and dynamic Excel spreadsheet I’ve seen in a long time – the purpose, to easily monitor and track my budget to spending ratios.

I’ve used Quicken for years and always reconciled my register.  Still, this did not stop me from losing complete control of my finances – oh, who’s kidding whom, here – I never had real control…

Now, with Mom over my shoulder we looked at my loan payments due and the upcoming bills, along with the income currently in the account and made choices about what to pay, how much and when.  In the end, it left me with hardly anything until the next paycheck but we knew cashflow would be tight while I paid off two month’s worth of bills and set my new checking account up with IngDirect.

Just having Mom over my shoulder was uncomfortable; I was opening a boundary I’d heretofore kept shut.  I had to give up my illusion of control to move forward and bringing Mom in to help with my financial situation was the choice that made the most sense.

My dreams last night came hard and fast.  What did I dream about?  I dreamt I was running around trying to find answers for “why?”  It’s true that in the last few months I have had a series of dreams involving a particular person where I was “searching” for him in various locations and circumstances.  I eventually would find him or “catch up” with him and a great love spilled forth.

I am not speaking of “romantic” love here…I find that people all too often like to reduce the vibration of “love” by making it sexual.   It’s uncomfortable for many people to see LOVE as an energetic paradigm and love energy as something that flows freely amongst people.  The term “unrequited” love makes me cringe – what the hell does that mean anyway?

It is used to refer to a situation in which one person loves and the other does not return the affection, as though love for loves sake is irrelevant or loving is somehow bad.

Wouldn’t it be more relevant to see that someone who blocks the flow of love in their life is the one who is unrequited inside.

Love and sex are two different things.  At the soul level, love is the energy force that moves EVERYTHING…it’s not just a cause for romance.  Our soul level contracts and agreements are vital to our spiritual growth and development. Love does not die and is not represented by one person or situation.  Love returns to us again and again.  The only thing that ever makes us feel we don’t have it – is our disconnection to source energy.

When someone physical in our life blocks the flow of love by making it about them – the feeling of “unrequited” or “break-up” is the feeling we have when we sense that the flow of love has been restricted or blocked.  We momentarily choose to become disconnected from source at the moment of impact.  It feels like dying – at least it does to me, as I have a heightened awareness of love energy.

Back to the dream – last night I was calling psychics and running around asking “why?”  I was finding no answers.  I called the friend who left without saying goodbye recently.  When he picked up the phone, he was happy to hear from me.  I felt instantly relieved.  I asked him why he had left so suddenly.  In the dream he tells me that he felt an exceeding amount of pressure to “commit” to love and it wasn’t for him and he’d rather just go around not caring that deeply about anything or anyone.  Then he said something that was garbled either by the phone connection or his not speaking clearly. I said, “What?”  He hung up on me!

I knew then that the answers would not come from him either.  He had nothing to provide in the dream, neither did any of the psychics or psychologists or gurus.  The answer to this question of “why?” was not one they could answer.  This was about my relationship to Spirit and no one else could do the work for me.  I was on my own with the Goddess and she and I had some stuff to work out.

This is the issue that is up for us now.  The starving artist is not just starving for money.  Money just represents the energy of life. If the energy of life is cut off, and the energy is Love, then the logical next step question is:  Why am I blocking the flow of love in my life?

Why is my friend playing the part of the unrequited, blocked heart?  What’s the worst thing you can do – leave without saying goodbye — as though the friendship and the love and shared history mean nothing?

If we are co-creating here – I have to ask myself why this result?  Why now?  I am facing the worst feelings that surround the lack of money flow and prosperity in my life — my very own disconnection of source energy that I have carried like a rock for how long now – lifetime after lifetime?

I repeat the same story over and over.  The friend leaves without saying goodbye.  I never get resolution.  I die.  We start over again.

Do you ever feel this way?

And how the hell am I going to change this Story so there is a happy ending?  If I am here to help creative artists and visionaries live in empowered Love – with flow persistent in all aspects of creativity and prosperity –then I need to change this old Story.   I must take my empress sword and cut through the illusion of what, in the end, has time after time blocked the flow of love.

I just can’t do it alone.  This Story is a collective vision.  We must change the vision together.  Tell a new story.

Back to the dream (the one I haven’t had yet), this time I run into my friend on the street– he does not hang up or run; he is receptive to a conversation.  He is not running from me and I am not searching.  We are both healed within ourselves.  Flow is persistent and actionable.  We go grab a drink at a place with great live music.  The music flows within us too, finally.  He’s stopped running from Love and accepts its flow in his life. I’ve stopped blocking love and my bank account is reflecting that.   I can pay for the drinks.

We are neither of us Starving Artists.  We do not gamble or fritter our resources.  We are truly within our power.  People around us feel it and feel much safer.  The musician playing is making a living at his art.   People see my friend and I together and wonder if we are a couple or married.  What they think doesn’t matter.

It’s more important that True Love is not named or just about a contract or a box that makes people comfortable.  It flows and IS without restriction.

We live in prosperous flow in the Universal Energy of source.

This is NOT a fantasy.  It is not a joke or something I just say to be funny.  I believe it’s possible this can be TRUE and is TRUE.

Let’s make it happen – Together.