The upheavals and changes on the planet most recently defined by the earthquake in Japan and the shifts in middle east politics left me feeling like I was dying last week.  I couldn’t explain this in any other language.

I was on my knees, it seemed emotionally or spiritually.  I could see that others were also…it seemed like the perfect time to go to my mentor Deena Metzger’s blog and homepage to see if she had some words of wisdom.  She didn’t disappoint.

She had written a letter on her page in a call to action to build sacred communities – that the visions she was receiving from Spirit had suggested, perhaps that the next Buddha indeed would not be an individual but a group of like-minded/hearted folks.

I mentioned the idea of a Sacred Council of women to my friend Paulie and she jumped on the idea, immediately suggesting she could email a group of friends to invite them.  By Saturday’s full moon (not seen in Minneapolis due to weather conditions) we were sitting at The Healing Loft in Minneapolis, calling Spirit and weaving a Story.

We wove a Story of heartbreak, heartache and deep survival.  I witnessed and participated in a transformation so profound, I have no words yet to describe what I felt and saw.

We entered into our Full Moon Goddess archetype and created powerful intention.

We awakened to a new world, one that Deena terms the 5^th World, when we let go of our participation in the old ways, the ways that kept us separate and hurting and embraced instead the idea of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with six other glorious goddesses and embraced a new intention.

I spent the rest of the weekend learning how to officiate curling events.  I can’t see my role in community-building without acknowledging, once again, the awesome lessons that the community of curlers has given me since I started curling in September.

They pulled me from the suffering of rejection and disconnection, and brought me together into wholeness, once again placing me on the path of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with granite rocks and ice and opened my mind to new frontiers.  It’s been an awesome journey and bittersweet now that the curling season is winding down in favor of sun and better weather.

I can sense spring has arrived, as we celebrate Ostara and the Full Moon has lit up our horizons.   The god of time and space has moved the wheel of the year once more.  We are celebrating new births on so many levels both within and without while becoming more than we ever expected.

What is your biggest challenge now to letting go of your participation in the old ways?  How can we follow the No Enemy Way and embrace the concept of All Our Relations.  What do we want to create now that we are thinking so differently?

I am struck, once again by my connection to The Captain.  His presence was felt so strongly at the 10^th Anniversary of Transmission show held at First Avenue on Friday night.  He might as well have been dancing in the room there with me.  I kept searching the crowd for him.

Instead, I embraced the energy of his participating in the re-balancing of Gaia.  I felt the anxiety and deep emotion of the last week melt away into the ground as I danced with people in close proximity sharing love and the love of awesome music.  Men and women just simply enjoying the vibe and I realized that I could recognize so many faces in the crowd from my Twin Cities life…

It was an awesome testament to the sheer audacity of moving here a year ago this week.  Yes, it’s been a whole year — an amazing year.  A year marked with heartache and treachery as well as graceful and amazing community.  I feel embraced by this place.  I feel at home.

The Captain is shifting also – moving, perhaps.  Internally, externally…hard to say.  I can sense the flow changing between us and yet I do not know where it leads, just yet.  Deena Metzger says to embrace not knowing.  I struggle with this concept sometimes.  I struggle with it, in particular when it comes to The Captain.  I don’t want to impose my wanting and yet, I have to acknowledge it exists…

I was dancing with him energetically, could see his face, even on Friday night.  Felt his presence after our Sacred Council and even today.  I just can’t feel his physical presence…

If we are indeed re-balancing the Sacred Masculine/Feminine archetype through our amazing connection, then what is the grand purpose of this separation or feeling separate, physically speaking.  And what is the Sacred Medicine that will bring him home, to rest?

I can see that in not knowing, I will embrace the pathless path…onward.  Another day, another year has begun.

There is an awesome quote by Abraham-Hicks that goes like this:

The reason that anybody you know, even you, has ever misbehaved, ever, even one time, is because you have not been feeling your power. And you have been trying to make up for it in some way that really is impossible.

Where, when you are in sync with who you are, AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Then the cells of your body are all communicating, you’re thriving! Your mind is sharp, you’re clear minded, you have balance, love is flowing through you. The best of life is a vibrational match to you, everywhere you go, doors are opening. People who are watching you are wondering what magical power you have.

And even though they won’t understand it when you say it, it’s the power of the vortex, the power of alignment. It’s the power of synching up with who I am. It’s the power of being real time, present tense, tuned in, tapped in, turned on to the frequency of ALL that I have become. It’s me, full on, full blown. Me full ON!

That’s what this power is about, you see.

San Diego 8/21/10

We often in this world feel we have to take action based on our “feelings” about things.  While using intuition and feeling is a good practice, the difference in whether our actions will lead to positive results is really in the basis for those feelings.  Are they coming from being tuned in and tapped in to “the vortex” where all things are possible or are they coming from a feeling of fear, lack, powerlessness?

Do you see how different life would be if you were making choices based not in negative and low vibrations but in knowing that you are perfect the way you are and so is everyone else?

We aren’t here to teach other people lessons because we know better or have gotten it sooner than they did.  We are not here to project our own fears onto others and make them bad.  We are here to create and enjoy our natural environment in all its beautiful and varied glory.

I love music and dancing.  While living in the Twin Cities I have attended many different music shows and DJ nights.  I have often run into some of the same people in these venues who clearly are also enjoying the music as I am.  What I have noticed, however, is that the connection between us (i.e. liking the same music/venue/life in the Twin Cities) can be interpreted in one of two ways – a clear recognition that we are connected in the power of music and may indeed see each other around town at the same venues to share in the moment, dancing, laughing and raising the energy (vibration) of the place OR, from a position of fear/powerlessness.

In the moment particular people feel fear/powerless as part of the vibration of the position they are in, they have been taught to take action to mitigate the fear and it is here the problems begin.

Some will try and control others through putting them down (making snide comments about dress/appearance/sexuality).  Some will suggest that a person they see more than once is there because of some desire to follow them around (i.e. making themselves more powerful by being in the victim place), or they will simply and effectively shut them out altogether.

In the end, the emptiness that grows from the step of taking action while being out of the vibrational vortex leads the person who is taking the action further and further out of the vortex.  They essentially become more and more uncomfortable, and disconnected from their own Truth .  The continued blame game becomes a sword that is not being address to other (the projected upon party) but into their own system…unmaking them as they do it.

All the while, they keep wondering why their life is getting worse…as though someone outside of them is in charge of this when in fact it is their own actions that are creating the vibrational anomaly.

If we are in the Vortex – aligned, feeling powerful, feeling the connection to the source of all that is – we can see others as they are meant to be seen – as a part of us.  Everyone and everything becomes a source of magic!

Our fellow humans may not be our best friend but they are in our space making their way in the world, creating their own picture and getting on with things as best as they can.  They aren’t to be feared but enjoyed, and sometimes whether it turns into a long-lasting friendship or just an enjoyable dance – we can connect with them and expand in ways that we weren’t expecting when we bumped into them.

Are there areas in your life where you could be more tuned in – tapped into the Vortex?  Are there areas where fear and feelings of powerlessness have led you to taking action that only lead to more of the same result?  How can you address and adjust your vibration in the moment so that you can take action from a position within The Vortex rather than outside of it?

Sometime last year, I decided to start writing about someone I called The Captain on my Facebook status messages, originally titled something like “Life with The Captain and other Stories.”  Facebook has limits on status length, which are even worse when you post via phone and I cannot include the title most times.

I released these status messages along with another set I called “The Goddess Chronicles”.  The Chronicles use the voice of a higher self or High Priestess and The Captain posts detail the intricacies and development of a relationship.

I get many questions and now have a growing fan base of people reading The Captain posts and leaving their thoughts on who, what and how.   I find the interaction on this quite intriguing.  More recently, I have posted other thoughts and had the occasional person ask me what The Captain would think on the issue!

The truth is, I started writing about The Captain because I longed to communicate something that could not be communicated in any other way – or so I thought.  I used The Goddess Chronicles as a means of expressing essential truths or thoughtforms that come to me as a priestess or spiritual person but don’t serve me to present them in my normal everyday voice but as a separate part of who I am.

I also thought of these posts as instructional or expanding in some way, food for thought or even contrast to what is normally considered a “status” message format on Facebook.  In other words, I wanted as a writer and artist to play with conventional forms of expression – ones status message – and use them as a form of communication of both a creative and instructional nature without sounding dogmatic or presumptuous.

The Captain however, is a character I developed through the medium of my own spiritual viewpoint – that we create our reality in the spiritual long before it shows up as physical reality.  I had been working with the Twinflame spirit bond as part of my spiritual work on the planet for many years – actually talking to and interacting with a spiritual form, sometimes appearing as one person or another in my life, although not necessarily of the romantic nature.

Through the medium of these meditations and telepathic conversations with someone I had not met or assumed was a particular person, I embarked on a many years long journey of self-development regarding the idea of creating the relationship (of a partnership variety) that would most benefit me and the planet.

It has since come to my attention through channeled guidance, that these relationships are intended to heal Gaia herself through the re-balancing of the Divine Masculine/Divine Feminine energies.  I am not the only spiritual practitioner creating and working with the partnership potential in this more holistic and less physical format.  I have now embarked on physical conversations with others in the same boat and there are definitely some patterns to our work which are of the common variety.

These relationships aren’t initially physical in nature but come through the medium of spiritual self-expression and understanding.  The common features so far seem to be that one partner is more awake or developed than the other and one partner (if not the same one) has the ability to perceive and/or hear their divine counterpart telepathically or feel them emotionally.

The other common pattern is that the people involved seem to come from a position of difficulty in relationship at the beginning of their lives – history of divorce, abuse, one bad relationship after another, or little perceived success with them but also a feeling that something is “out there.”

The conjoined energetic twins are housed in separate physical bodies and it is not necessary for them to be of the heterosexual variety but they would need to be balanced as in one partner is the Divine Masculine and the other the Divine Feminine of their soul group.

As the partners draw closer, the intensity of their bond is increased through the awakening process – which most often takes place separately but through the pull of wanting to meet their partner.  The difficult relationships seem to spawn the desire to “create” something better which in turn leads to a spiritual path of some sort that enables them to begin working more consciously on their contracts, which originated prior to incarnation.

Once one partner is awakened to the concept of consciously working on relationship through the medium of their telepathic-emotional bond, without the benefit of the physical presence of a person to mirror or reflect; the real work begins.   It is even at this point, that the awakened partner may meet their person physically but not be in a position emotionally/mentally or physically to do anything about the relationship.  Instead of the old paradigm – two ships passing in the night – it is more like the one ship going up and down the coast line for a safe harbor, but the harbor isn’t built yet.

There is no way to explain this process well to those who consider relationships in the purely physical sense, waxing lyrical about Match.com or E-Harmony and lamenting about how difficult it is to “find” someone.  While there is nothing wrong with such an existence or even in the building of contrast through a series of relationships, not intended to be lasting, the Twinflame is of a completely separate relationship model and is not subject to the usual physical laws.

I have even heard of people who say they understand the model and who are afraid of their Twinflame and I would also place them in the category of those only here to learn and grow in soulmate contracts (karmic) and series relationships rather than perform the divine medicine of the Twinflame.  This is not a path about “I” but one of “We.”

This path is not for the feint of heart or even of the cool variety or the person who thinks there is a choice upon incarnation about the work at hand.  Once committed, it is your path.  It is actually a separate, divine contract with Gaia and has less to do with romance than it does with balancing the Earth’s energies and restoring love as the blueprint for our creation model.

I have often described The Captain as both a person and a Spirit.  While I interact with him in the spiritual and develop the relationship through a series of processes, tests, quests and ups and downs, no different in some ways than a long-lasting marriage, I am not currently in a physical-based relationship with The Captain.

I do however, after all these years know where he is physically.  Nevertheless, I still have to be respectful of The Captain’s own process of enlightenment – a path which is wholly separate from mine, despite our energetic process.  This aught not to be public display but a private one although I am tasked with sharing some of it so that others may benefit from the knowledge we have gathered so far.

I think in the end, The Captain posts are a way to be playful and creative with my own personal version of the Story rather than an attempt in any way, shape or form to tell HIS side…It would be up to him to do that part or even to decide whether to share publically any aspect of his story.

In the end, when the time comes that the spiritual and physical become one – I may find myself either writing a different story or handling The Captain in a whole new way than what I have been doing so far.  I do not know even if I will feel the need to continue posting the story or if the story will turn into some other expression or creative outlet entirely.  That is yet to be seen.

I think it goes without saying that some of what I post is not physically accurate for the purpose of occluding the reality of my circumstance and protecting the “innocent” but the energy of the posts is accurate and intended to share the complexities of the path both heart-warming and heart-wrenching at times.

What I have uncovered in this process includes past life relationships, hardship, working with energy, healing, healing work, partnerships with other supporters all flowing toward a more balanced energy here in the planet.  We are joined, not separate.  What one person does effects the other and we’re all in this dance together.

This is a loving Tango…unmasking love in its highest forms…letting go, letting go, letting go…FEELING.  And the more we practice, the more we are learning and developing and growing – Together.

The Beginning

Several Winter Olympics ago, the one held in Turin, Italy I was watching curling on the Olympics.  I had no choice but to watch the Olympics all day because I was laid up with a particularly horrible flu.

That’s when I saw curling for the first time.  I had no idea what I was watching or why the sliding of large granite stones coupled with the frantic sweeping, was so fascinating to me.

Years later, when I began to network with people in Minnesota, I got exposed to curling in a much closer reality – Minnesotans actually have curling clubs!  In addition, some of my Facebook friends were amateur curlers, members of the Saint Paul Curling Club and attending curling tournaments, called Bonspiels on a regular basis.  I moved from distant fascination to a desire to try it out myself someday.

I got my chance when I made the move to Minnesota.  After the glorious summer of 2010, we settled into the beginnings of fall and I Googled the Saint Paul Curling club to see what it would take to join.

This is when the challenges and the learning began – a series of events where I really learned the game of curling had less to do with the obvious physical play and much more to do with something in the higher dimensions – a spiritual and personal quest of sorts that would change and mutate me into an improved consciousness and self-understanding.

What did I learn at the Saint Paul Curling Club?

Manifestation & Acceptance

My first lesson involved manifestation of what I desire.  I checked into the costs associated with the club and realized that I was going to need some financial miracles to pay for the membership and league fees – which were higher than I expected.  Just when I wondered how in the world I’d pay for my desired outcome, a check came in the mail for my birthday that covered the costs.

Nothing truly stands in the way of what is your positive forward momentum.

The second lesson involved the challenge of the illusion of acceptance.  Acceptance is not something outside of ourselves but an internal process of connecting with source energy and perceiving our experience from a position of that connection.

I signed up for a league (which I thought was the right one – the instructions were a little unclear) and proceeded to wait for the date of the first league play, including requesting the night off from a job I had at the time.  When the week arose, I received an email from the league captain stating I hadn’t gotten a spot on the teams for Friday night. What?  What did that mean?  My heart fluttered and a small freak out began.

After a back and forth with this guy and his taciturn emails, I came to understand that the entire club was impacted and there weren’t enough spots for people who were interested.  I called the manager of the club, and he was equally as sardonic – “We can send your money back, “he said matter-of-factly.

I told him I wanted to play not get my money back – what was the deal with this place?  I felt side-lined and rejected.  I thought my goals of being part of the club were being thwarted for reasons I didn’t understand.

Still, upon prompting the manager did suggest that if I just showed up at the club and persevered I would probably get to “sub in” at some point…that is if I wanted to bother.

Perseverance & Friendship

That’s the third lesson of the St Paul Curling Club – after I accepted my fate, and decided the management of the club wasn’t purposefully trying to exclude me from the club, it was time to persevere to my goal of curling.

I started showing up on Wednesday nights, thinking that the Metro and Bonnie (all women) leagues might be a better choice for “subbing in” and good for my schedule.  There was nothing to be done but to show up and hang out, watching the club play.  I did this for weeks…

When the Bonnie’s were done with their play at 9pm, the women would move their way up to the bar/clubroom and begin their social hour.

The fourth lesson was the lesson of true friendship.  It didn’t take long for me to be noticed as the “stranger” in their midst and to be assimilated as a friend, because we know Minnesotans hate to have anyone be a stranger for very long.  It makes them uncomfortable.  The nosy questions began the process of the club members understanding my place and position in the club.

I was Californian, new to curling and in need of some direction.  I received their directions, camaraderie and genuine desire to help me integrate into society.

In addition, I struck up a friendship with the General Manager of the curling club, Dex (Jim Dexter), he himself a venerated curling coach and former player.  Health issues prevented him from playing anymore but he also took me under his wing and proceeded to give me a sense of the lay of the land.

He also enjoyed my massage skills, which we discovered one night when I offered to work my training as a massage therapist on his sore shoulders.  An hour later, I had worked his legs, arms and back while he lay on the couch in the hall, alleviating some of the pain he suffered due to a partial foot amputation.

A month later Sally, one of the Bonnie skips, suggested I play in the upcoming All-American Bonspiel she was chairing.  “It’s a laid back bonspiel just for fun – do it!” she said.

Conquering Fear

The fifth lesson of the SPCC was getting over fear of not being good enough and just getting out there.   I showed up on the date of the All-American bonspiel, borrowed a broom from the SPCC broom closet and joined up with the randomly allocated teammates for a day of play.

Up until this point, I had only taken a couple of the new curler clinics put on by Dex and his team of ace curling instructors.  I would soon get initiated into real life play.

We were going to play three matches of eight ends (the time it takes to throw all the rocks to the other side of the ice).  The first end of course, I nervously slid and fell and my rocks landed not to far away from where they began.  My faithful team members gave me instructions, tweaked my stance and encouraged me without judgment.

I never did make it through the final match of the day –I was stiff and sore by that point – those rocks weigh 40lbs and even though it looks easy to slide yourself and the rock down the ice, it is actually quite an athletic feat!   The skip of the team I was on, also had to leave early and we were running late and would never make it through the entire match anyway.  I went to work that night, the last night I would work at the mall, changed in more ways than one.

Balance

The sixth lesson of the SPCC was the art of balance –not only the tri-pod balance required upon throwing the stone so that you don’t fall on your butt or the balance required when sweeping the stone at a near run so it curls, slows down or speeds up and lands where the skip wants it to, but the balance of the relationship between men and women.

The sport of curling is the only sport on the planet (or so I am told) in which there is no advantage to being a man or a woman.  Yes, there are differences in how men and women play but the best men and women can play equally well together on the ice.

As I started to sub-in more, I was playing with mostly male teammates.  At first, I was slightly intimidated about this as I feared I might have something to prove in that world of male bonding.  My male teammates however proved to be just as accepting and helpful as the women.

They were fun to be around and while I still had a lot to learn about throwing, sliding, sweeping, strategy, reading the skip’s signals, standing up straight and falling with grace…I began to see that, perhaps for the first time in my life, I was on an equal playing field with men.   I liked it.

Snags on the road to Curling Stardom

I hit a snag in December when I noticed that the auto-generated sub requests I would get from the computer database went from 3-5 a week down to well zero.  I had just started a new assignment with my agency as well as begun an involvement with The Healing Loft doing healing work at their Sampler Nights.

I was busy and let the sub request thing slide until I really started wondering what was going on.  Upon checking the database, I found I could no longer find my listing.  When I called the club manager (who I had never met) he suggested that perhaps it was because I hadn’t paid my dues!  Hey, wait a minute…

Restored to the database, we were now in the downtime for the holidays when they do ice maintenance.  I had to realize that maybe my road to curling stardom would be a little more rocky than I had initially imagined.  I learned my seventh lesson – sliding on ice (as well as life) is not as smooth as it appears, be prepared to take the punches and keep on going.

Happy New Year 2011

Back in Minnesota after a short sojourn in sunny Florida, with a slightly bruised curling ego, I made my way back to the club feeling like I was starting over – literally and figuratively.   Whatever technical or physical stuff that had happened between being erased from the member database and being put back on had left the sub requests at a snails pace.  I would have to venture back to the club knowing I’d just be hanging out again and not playing – at least for now.

What was gratifying, was that my friends on the Bonnie’s were overjoyed to see me Wednesday and said they’d been wondering what the hell had happened to me.  We laughed heartily about the mistake that cost me a listing in the now printed edition of the club membership roster.  I guess the eighth lesson was – no ego is involved in being a member of this club…at least not for me.

The Universe is Good Curling!

I still don’t own my own broom or have a pair of curling shoes.  I don’t know if I will get to play again this season or if I will spend the extra cash on league play at the newly opened Biff-Adams rink.  All of this has yet to be determined and there are only a few more months of league play before the club closes for spring.  In the end, the various lessons all lead to one big understanding – the Universe works in mysterious ways.

I feel more Minnesotan now than when I began looking at the club website in August.  I know more about myself and the balance between men and women.  I understand that friendship is not demanded but something you earn through connection and love and time.  We are all one and in curling, we are all amazing, beautiful, athletic human beings who enjoy the company of others.

The final lesson I learned in curling (at least for now) is that curling is a sport of etiquette – shaking hands, admitting mistakes even when it costs you a point, and championing the other team whether you win or lose.  It’s something often missing in other areas of life.  It is competition at its best really and I am a better person for having shown up to the Saint Paul Curling club.

Good curling!

I am reflecting on all 2010 has been.  This time last year, the idea of moving to Minneapolis, Minnesota was a (sort of) tentative idea.  I growing and nagging feeling that my heart and soul was intended to be there but my head was trying to “figure out” logistics.

Should I or Shouldn’t I?  The mantra of my 2009 New Year as  the things that had exploded after October were causing wellsprings of fear and trepidation as to my abilities to really survive.

Moved here I did, however, really coming for good at the beginning of March and surviving ever since.

Maybe there were some downs but mostly there were plenty of ups and I spent the summer attending various music shows, dancing to good music and getting to know the “energies” of the Twin Cities.

I am enjoying every aspect of the weather – even the adventure of getting stuck in one record-breaking blizzard and ice-storm almost back to-back.  All the well-meaning people who worried I’d not survive the Minnesota winter can stop worrying…well at least until January and February (J)

Of all the dreams I had for last year, many of them were tabled in favor of traversing the many retrogrades we had in 2010 – Venus, Chiron, Neptune and our usual friend, Mercury were just a few of the planets that went over old territory last year– nevermind, the numerous and constant Star Gates in which the planet was downloaded with new expansive energies all for our growth and expansion.

I look forward to 2011 because I think many of the dreams I had on the table for 2010 (other than the move itself) will manifest this year.  I can FEEL it…beyond anytime before I feel I am ready to go forth and prosper (to use a Star Trek term).

I think the biggest lesson that was honed in for me in 2010 was to stop seeing things as “bad” or “good.”  I got out of judging my experiences, for the most part, and instead enjoy them in the moment.  Even when things are difficult, I realize that they are in my highest good – I see that they are leading to what I want AND that I am being protected.

I went through many job ups and downs this year but in each one I become more clear about what I wanted.  Also I could see that it wasn’t about ME at all but a much larger and bigger picture.  In the end, I was taken care of financially, could do everything I wanted (within reason) and enjoyed good food, wine, music and friends throughout the year.  I hardly every felt or was deprived even when I was not working!

Last night I was re-watching “The Holiday,” with Jude Law.  It was appropriate because my Money Honey looks just like him in that movie and because a year ago New Year’s we watched his movie in my parent’s house in California.  Now here I was house-sitting in Mineapolis with a white Christmas going on outside.

If you have read my Facebook status messages, you know I write “short short stories” about a character I call “The Captain.”  This is the name I give to my Twinflame/soulmate energy I work with in a conscious evolution prior to our physical relationship manifesting.  I have already met several people working in this manner in the metaphysical community.  As we leave 3D reality and enter fully into 5D (dimensional) reality – the concept of creating in Spirit before the physical will become more commonplace.  For now I realize reading these stories is a challenge to many and that’s what I hope to do with writing them – bridge the gap between one way of thinking and behaving into a new way.

If you are lost or challenged by new concepts coming to you, while your friends are more relative to the physical, you will appreciate that you are not the only one going through this!

At any rate, just realize that all things, including our relationships are created in the non-physical realms first…and those that are willing can work consciously on creating the relationship of their dreams SPIRITUALLY first, including maybe even knowing WHO it is before it is a relationship you can both BE in…

I know this will come across as challenging to understand if you have not considered this before.  This is not the same as controlling or doing spells on someone to get what your EGO wants…it is working with energy in the form of LOVE, to grow yourself into alignment with the relationship which is part of your soul contract work on the planet.

I will write more about this in 2011.  In the meantime, enjoy your holiday and really and truly embrace the LOVE  in your heart and soul!

I walked in the snow last night as the light, white flakes fell benevolently like kisses from the sky.  The powers that be weren’t plowing, it would have been silly, perhaps since the newly plowed roads and walkways would most assuredly be covered again before long.

I came home from Campus Pizza where I’d shared a long conversation with the bartender about life, The Gophers, biking in the Twin Cities, her boyfriend and snow.

I decided to shovel the walkways of our house at midnight just for fun.  The walkway was covered over again by morning but I am still glad I shoveled snow.  The light from the streetlights, reflecting off the pure white gave the neighborhood an opalescent glow.

I had seen a jackrabbit run through the parking lot of the townhouses across the street while I was talking to my friend Penny.  She said, “There’s your fertility sign.”

I smiled at that.  It is great to have friends who can see the magic of life, ones like Penny who don’t just push aside your “signs and symbols” as myth and stupidity.  Penny recognizes the mark of the goddess as she sends the jackrabbit across the white snow in front of my bedroom window.  A sure sign of growth, beauty and life, even during the cold snowy night, the rabbit quickly made his way out past my view.  He gave me his message with the bob of his tail and moved on.

I dreamt of The Captain and I having a conversation and hanging out in a living room, somewhere.  Is it the future?  I do not know.  His presence is getting closer, it seems.  He spoke of seeing signs, also in his life, of awakening to some psychic powers – seeing things he wasn’t sure where real, or knowing things before they occurred.  It’s all so new for him and disconcerting.

I get a feeling that his friends may not be as supportive or understanding of his burgeoning world view.  They may just not get it.  They have fears about things that they cannot prove, perhaps.  They’ve been taught that Santa doesn’t exist and they choose to believe that when you are an adult, you stop acting like a child – full of wonder and magic.

When we open to our gifts, there is often a fear that we are losing our sanity.  How could this really be happening to me?  You are afraid of being judged and condemned; sent away from the pack or the group into a world of loneliness and ostracism.  Maybe you know someone who was ostracized.

I think it is easy to find evidence for whatever you believe.   If you are a closeted something or other, you can find so many evidence based examples of how you probably should stay in the closet to be “safe.”  What if that belief that you will not be safe, leads you to create the evidence?

What would happen if you ventured outside of the closet?  If you were fully and authentically yourself what would be the result?

When we live an empowered life – a life that is you being fully expressed – we give rise to the notion that we can truly love ourselves – warts/gifts/attributes/talents and all.

No one is born with something wrong with them.  We are what we are for a purpose.  We can end the struggle with being accepted when we accept that we are indeed exactly as we need to be.  There’s nothing wrong with us at the core.

If you were to see yourself as naturally creative, resourceful and whole – complete as you are and here for a purpose, how would that change the way you perceive your interactions with others?

Would you have compassion for the blindness that creates the need in them to see you as anything but whole?  Would you sense their judgments and accusations in a new light?  Could you open your resources – mind, heart, body – to present confidence as a mindset of “I am whole” and see what evidence shows up to support that vision?

It is true that you may have to find new friends, or be patient with the ones you have.  It is true that in being truly authentic you may have to “hear” some accusations that you aren’t acting the way you used to or that you frighten those who used to be friends to you.  It is true, you may have to run on your own steam and seek validation in those who can support the new vision.  In the end, however, in wholeness and authenticity, you are free to be.  There is a freedom from this viewpoint that no other way of being allows.

You will learn a level of compassion and heart for those who choose to live in a box of sameness out of fear.  You may see, in time, how gray and empty that world of sameness appears in the face of those who choose such a path.

You will know yourself on a deep and consecrated level.  You cannot be hurt because you know the truth of your wholeness…those accusations and ostracisms will seem strange and silly to you.  What’s the point of that stuff, you will say.  You will experience love on a grander, bigger scale, so powerful it can only come from a connection to the source of All That Is…from the core of you – being YOU.

Busyness abounds this holiday season.  I have made many changes to be more in alignment with who I am right now.  While all my experiences since moving to the Twin Cities have had their purpose under the sun, I felt it was time to adjust my time to effort ratio and concentrate on new endeavors.

I got grounded in the Cities by working at the Mall of America.  I found the energy of the Mall grounded me and helped me adjust to my new life.  All good things change, though and I found going such a long distance and dealing with the retail environment no longer felt right.  Something had shifted in my eight months living in this city and the mall job just wasn’t for me any longer. Besides, it was meant to be part-time and fun, and both those aspects were lost with changes at the store.

After some hemming and hawing, I got out before the holiday rampage and came back to sanity once again.

I find myself ready to tackle my coaching practice and have set-up a weekly group coaching session I named “Bridging the Gap,” to assist people in career and life transitions.  The session will be held at The Healing Loft in NE Minneapolis.

The center, run by some awesome healers is a heart-based business established as a space for healing.  It is a burgeoning community of like-minded individuals.  I look forward to seeing what this association brings forward.

Check out The Healing Loft at http://www.thehealingloftmpls.com/

One of the things I notice now, is the feeling of fear or desperation that the changing world environment can engender in some.  It’s easy to feel desperate when jobs are being lost, relationships are shifting and changing and things don’t seem to work the same as before.

In my experience, many corporations are choosing to hire temps rather than full-time employees.  There are no benefits or perks and the transient nature of the temp job; if that’s not what you want, can make it difficult to manage finances or schedules.

What if we were able to see the changing landscape not as a sign of bleak opportunities but as a new drawing board for potential growth and aspiration?  Change as a catalyst for new ways of thinking. Instead of harping about the “economy” like it is a real thing, static and out of your control – consider new ways of making money.  In fact, see money in a whole new light.

Develop a relationship of flow and abundance that is not about “want” devoid of meaning but instead has purpose and heart to back it up.   When we are not in touch with our feelings – then the need to cover up feelings of fear, shame or lack with over-indulgent purchases, prompts many  to say “I can’t afford this, oh my!”  The circle is complete with worse feelings.

Instead, try to move from positions of lack and fear to a feeling of joy attached to non-material situations like the beauty of snow falling in winter or the light of the candle in the living room.  Maintaining positive feeling, no matter the external circumstance will allow you the creative power to move mountains. If you can’t buy gifts for the holidays – consider a a more personal expression of love – such as spending time together doing something you all enjoy or volunteering.

My favorite money coach, Morgana Rae says to reframe the way you describe your money situation by saying “It’s not a financial priority,” instead of “I can’t afford.”  Doing so feels so different – one denotes personal choice and new thinking, the other a sense of lack and shame.

Sometimes when we think outside the box, seeing every opportunity as a new form of learning and experience, rather than a change we don’t want, we open our minds to new thoughts.  I was so busy worrying about getting to the mall on time, spending all those hours taking public transport from my home on the East Bank, Minneapolis to the Mall that I didn’t have time or energy to consider starting a support group.

In working with my skills and aspirations and looking at them more closely, I could adjust my situation to accommodate a potentially life changing career move, which didn’t fit into the mold.

What skills do you have from your job you just lost, which you could apply to a situation that doesn’t fit the usual thought patterns?  Have you considered starting your own business, consulting or blogging on a subject of interest?

I recently took up curling, a sport that is very popular in the Twin Cities.  The Saint Paul Curling Club is so impacted with new applicants for this Olympic sport, they turned hundreds away at the beginning of the season.  Instead of slinking away with the rest, I chose to hang out on Wednesday nights and meet new people.  Now I am subbing in on teams when members are sick or out of town.  I am enjoying the new social and physical activity and feeling quite at home at the club.

While you may, in the end have to continue in a 9-5pm job, expanding your creative expression and meeting new people in social media environments, networking groups or even starting a new activity/sport during your “slump” can be just enough of a catalyst to see a positive shift in your personal Law of Attraction.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Press Contact:  Gina Micek

Flying Witch Media, P.O. Box 50562, Palo Alto, CA 94303

http://www.malevolentempress.com

REVIEWER:  Kelly Frankenberg

http://www.kellyfrankenberg.com

kelly@kellyfrankenberg.com

Illustrator and Creative Writing MFA Candidate Kelly Frankenberg Reviews The Journey of the Malevolent Empress: A Priestess on a Captivating Quest from Mundane to Magikal by Rev. Gina Micek

Minneapolis, MN — April 30, 2010 — “The Journey of The Malevolent Empress” is Rev. Gina Micek’s first book of her planned trilogy series and her first published book of poems and short stories.  “The Malevolent Empress’” content is dated from 1990 to the last poem ending in 2005.  Quite a span of time showing her earlier work to more present, the poems show progression and a sense of how her vision shifted along her journey.  Journey is very important to Rev. Micek. Her trilogy will have the theme of spiritual journey, and she has a lot to draw from as she has come a long way with her personal, spiritual, and occupational life.

It’s interesting to know Rev. Micek is actually an initiated Wiccan Priestess, yet one can relate to her journey and stories very easily.

Though her work is fiction, it draws from actual experiences.  For her short stories she used elements from her journey and built on them to create the three in her book.  Her poems have a very personal nature to them and are written like a first hand experience.  For example, many of the poems are made up of images that the speaker is experiencing and seeing in that moment.  There are images from “buck-toothed underwear lady” to “baby fuzzed men longing looks.”

Many images are juxtaposed in the poem creating an Imagist style to her poetry.  Rev. Micek uses nouns and adjectives in her lines with verbs far and few in between.  For example, in her poem titled, “Kilburn,” four lines go without a single verb.

Varied states of repair

Dog surprise,

Chocolate wrapper

Un-swept pink petals

Ezra Pound’s “In a Station of the Metro,” states, “The apparition of these faces in the crowd;/ Petals on a wet, black bough.”

Like Pound’s, Micek’s poems manifest their creative imagery through their words.  The words then pile up to create her experience within them.  And there is where her journey is found.

Rev. Micek’s poem, “Naked in the Rain,” can be compared to W.B. Yeats’ poem, “A Coat.”  Micek states, “I’ll tell you that I walked outside/ Without my clothes on/ I could never have done this before/ They protected me/ Separated me from myself/ From the world.”

Yeats states, “Song, let them take it/ For there’s more enterprise/ In walking naked.”  These poems have similar words and feelings, and even though are about different things, they still contain the same overall meaning, essentially about shedding your past skin and changing on your journey.

Rev. Micek is strongly influenced by music, even more so in her poems today.  Her poem titled, “Jungle Voices,” is actually reflections on Paul Simon’s “Spirit Voices.”

Rev. Micek is very influenced and inspired by music, as was Langston Hughes.  Micek’s poem titled, “The Musician,” contains many images relating to music, still in her imagist style, where her musical rhythm is in her words instead of an iambic pentameter.  For example, one strophe of  “The Musician” reads,

“Jazz tunes

Harmony

Cascading”

In conclusion, Rev. Micek’s spiritual journey may not be so different from our personal journeys, but she conveys her creative thoughts on life and art through her words of imagery in her poems and her short stories.  Rev. Micek believes that we learn something from each person we meet in this world.  One can certainly learn a lot about themselves and life through reading someone else’s spiritual journey, however partially fictionalized, and Rev. Micek’s first book is certainly one you’ll want to read and come along for the journey.

ABOUT KELLY FRANKENBERG:  Kelly has a BFA in illustration from Minneapolis College of Art & Design. She works as a freelance illustrator and teacher.  She loves to travel, learn new languages, write and sing.  Kelly plays the guitar and piano. Sometimes you can catch her painting live at a restaurant, convention or in the great outdoors.

A friend told me today that she was working on seeing people in a completely new way…as complete with their highs and lows, quirks and annoying habits as well as all their positives.  What a thought pattern change.  The shift enabled the other person to come more fully into their complete selves rather than act out roles or projections of others and some mutually satisfying results ensued.

What would life be like if we just became more open to the possibilities instead of living in limitations and skewed viewpoints of how things “should be.”  Maybe your friends or relatives don’t always act with the best intentions but who cares?  Neither do you.  Life is not black or white.

You’d be much better off if you can see what your friends are mirroring for you.  If there’s something you don’t like or that annoys you – what about that behavior is speaking to a part of you that isn’t being seen or recognized?  Guess what – it’s never about the other person…

Moving to Minneapolis has been challenging for me, to say the least.  Not everything has worked out perfectly, and some things like having my ring stolen from my hotel room, were downright violating.  I could have used that as a sign that things just weren’t meant to be, packed up my stuff and gone back to my comfort zone.

Except if I remember how boring my comfort zone had become before I chose to come to Minneapolis on this adventure, I might think again.

Friday I went to the Eitel building on Willow for L’Etoile Magazine’s Imagination Mechanism event.  I ate dinner at the Loring Park Kitchen dusted off with one of their yummy pomegranate martinis.  A girl could get used to this life.  The wait staff was really friendly and made me want to stick around for more but I had business to attend to up on the rooftop next door.

I can picture it now – cool apartment in the Eitel building and dinners/martinis at Loring Park Kitchen.  No one has accused me of dreaming too small.

All the fashion peeps from the Voltage show were there including Emma Berg wearing something ostentatiously frilly and fantastic from her collection with blue shoes (ok, I am sure there is a much more specific color to insert here such as teal?).  There were others with carefully selected vintage and still others with fur and fun baubles.  It’s all good at an L’Etoile party, I can see that now.

Still more fun ensued as we watched first hand the makings of the photo shoot L’Etoile has posted to their blog now (see link on the sidebar of this one) and our inner artist children all had way too much fun cutting and pasting magazines, creating our own fashion shoot layout storyboards.  Woo hoo!

Saturday was raining here in Minneapolis on and off.  I took Death Trap Suzie – the shared apartment bicycle – out to the lakes for a bit of toodling around the local bike trails and waterways.  I found it extremely uplifting and relaxing to eat my tuna fish sandwich, carrots and Doritos by the lake side while watching someone else fish.

The homes around the lakes made me consider living there too, someday.  I could totally see myself with an in home music studio for singer-songwriter parties, fashionable BBQs held in the outdoor kitchen and as my friend Luke said, once a month metal jams so as not to leave out any of the local metalheads.

(Insert pic of new home construction here)  – when it’s all ready to go I’ll invite you over for a soiree.

Saturday night I bussed it down to Washington. The bus driver went right past my stop, causing me to have to walk down Hennepin even longer than originally expected, and all the way down Washington to Club Jager (in heels!).  Please don’t try this sort of foolishness, especially when it begins to drizzle.  I grew up in England so a spot of rain doesn’t bother me as much as it might you.

People were already busting a move on the dance floor with Attitude City minus Karl and substituted handily with Ben Hribar.  I was accused of being the DJs girlfriend (yes, I answered, I’m girlfriend to both — best they don’t realize they made a polygamous commitment without knowing it), had my foot stomped on and my teeth almost knocked out (by the couple who was swing dancing into everyone) and given hugs by complete strangers.   How much more fun, exactly could a girl have and still be wearing clothes?

Circling back to openness… I know I’d like to get it all done, and all done now.  No doubt if I were to practice a bit more with my magic wand, I might just be able to do it.  Still, I only just saw Minneapolis for the first time last July and here I am sitting in the uptown Dunn Bros writing blogs.  What can I say?  I’m an over-achiever.  Come on, you know you are too sometimes!?

While you most certainly can’t do everything – there are so many things you can do.  While there are people you might not impress no matter how awesome your dance moves, your skill at writing or how electric your smile is, there are so many who will enjoy what you do and open their hearts, minds and souls to the gifts you bring forward.

No matter what people seem to be “doing” or “not doing” around me there is a place in the cosmic web for what I do.  Maybe I don’t always like what’s in the now but I realize there’s a complexity there, a Story where I am not always reading all the words, but could be.

I don’t give up too easily.  I just keep showing up knowing that with my open heart and the awesome love I have for the world filled with music, I just might win the hearts of even the most stubborn of you!  And if I don’t — I am having a damn good time without you.

Quite a weekend folks, if I say so myself.  Seems the consensus is in and 2009 either “sucked”, “was a bad year” or “was hard/difficult/up and down” – whatever the descriptor you used, I haven’t heard that 2009 was anything but a year people were glad to see the back of!

Now that we can agree on this (for the most part), it seems people have high hopes for 2010.  I for one feel that the energy is rocking and moving and shaking – literally and figuratively.  In California, we had some earthquakes this past week, some of us are planning literal moves sometime this year and most people see change (in a good way) in 2010.

Friday evening was kicked off in style, with the return of Matthew Hansen to the stage at Blake’s in Berkeley, California.  Much later, when we write Matthew’s biography about his early years in the music business we will most definitely be adding Blake’s as one of his early “homes.”  Seems Matthew is well-loved EVERYTIME he plays there.

Matthew has been working hard on his material – we know of him as none other than a consummate showman and hard-working guitarist.  He has put considerable time into honing his craft and it shows, of course.

He is slowly working on his first album project, all eagerly anticipated by his adoring fans, his music producers and the people who have worked on the record in some physical capacity.  I know from personal experience these labors of love take WAAYYYY more time than you ever thought and the year you think it’s going to be done is usually well-underestimated.

Still, having wrapped up production on my own collection of short stories and poetry, which I began as an idea in 2005 I know the feeling and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I am now in the very beginnings of the promotion phase with my project – you do get there in the end!  Working diligently and never giving up is my motto for artists everywhere….you will get there.  Whenever Matthew does release his record – we’ll be waiting.

I understand that the cover photo for the artwork was taken Friday – a group shot involving some lovely ladies and dare I say it?  A crotch grab.    Ok, well…maybe he can include that one in the liner notes.

I continued my weekend by attending an all women “Moon Lodge” in San Jose with my book editor Mika.  We both performed our co-creation ritual with the group, met some lovely ladies and established our desire for spirit in all of you in 2010.  I found it very nurturing and beautiful, if not a bit daunting.  After all, I tend to be a lone ranger with my creations…coming into a sacred space and spilling my heart desires out has always been a bit nuts for me.  Still I am at peace and between my vision board and my powerful rituals to start off 2010 I am feeling that great vibe even more.  Plus, the power of one mind is certainly increased when a group is holding your vision sacred too!

Here I go out in the world with my creations – a new website forming around this blog, a move in the works to another state, no less and my book.  What are your creations, wishes and endeavors for 2010?  Go out and make them possible.  If you need help holding a vision – let me know – it’s one of my favorite things to do!