The upheavals and changes on the planet most recently defined by the earthquake in Japan and the shifts in middle east politics left me feeling like I was dying last week.  I couldn’t explain this in any other language.

I was on my knees, it seemed emotionally or spiritually.  I could see that others were also…it seemed like the perfect time to go to my mentor Deena Metzger’s blog and homepage to see if she had some words of wisdom.  She didn’t disappoint.

She had written a letter on her page in a call to action to build sacred communities – that the visions she was receiving from Spirit had suggested, perhaps that the next Buddha indeed would not be an individual but a group of like-minded/hearted folks.

I mentioned the idea of a Sacred Council of women to my friend Paulie and she jumped on the idea, immediately suggesting she could email a group of friends to invite them.  By Saturday’s full moon (not seen in Minneapolis due to weather conditions) we were sitting at The Healing Loft in Minneapolis, calling Spirit and weaving a Story.

We wove a Story of heartbreak, heartache and deep survival.  I witnessed and participated in a transformation so profound, I have no words yet to describe what I felt and saw.

We entered into our Full Moon Goddess archetype and created powerful intention.

We awakened to a new world, one that Deena terms the 5^th World, when we let go of our participation in the old ways, the ways that kept us separate and hurting and embraced instead the idea of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with six other glorious goddesses and embraced a new intention.

I spent the rest of the weekend learning how to officiate curling events.  I can’t see my role in community-building without acknowledging, once again, the awesome lessons that the community of curlers has given me since I started curling in September.

They pulled me from the suffering of rejection and disconnection, and brought me together into wholeness, once again placing me on the path of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with granite rocks and ice and opened my mind to new frontiers.  It’s been an awesome journey and bittersweet now that the curling season is winding down in favor of sun and better weather.

I can sense spring has arrived, as we celebrate Ostara and the Full Moon has lit up our horizons.   The god of time and space has moved the wheel of the year once more.  We are celebrating new births on so many levels both within and without while becoming more than we ever expected.

What is your biggest challenge now to letting go of your participation in the old ways?  How can we follow the No Enemy Way and embrace the concept of All Our Relations.  What do we want to create now that we are thinking so differently?

I am struck, once again by my connection to The Captain.  His presence was felt so strongly at the 10^th Anniversary of Transmission show held at First Avenue on Friday night.  He might as well have been dancing in the room there with me.  I kept searching the crowd for him.

Instead, I embraced the energy of his participating in the re-balancing of Gaia.  I felt the anxiety and deep emotion of the last week melt away into the ground as I danced with people in close proximity sharing love and the love of awesome music.  Men and women just simply enjoying the vibe and I realized that I could recognize so many faces in the crowd from my Twin Cities life…

It was an awesome testament to the sheer audacity of moving here a year ago this week.  Yes, it’s been a whole year — an amazing year.  A year marked with heartache and treachery as well as graceful and amazing community.  I feel embraced by this place.  I feel at home.

The Captain is shifting also – moving, perhaps.  Internally, externally…hard to say.  I can sense the flow changing between us and yet I do not know where it leads, just yet.  Deena Metzger says to embrace not knowing.  I struggle with this concept sometimes.  I struggle with it, in particular when it comes to The Captain.  I don’t want to impose my wanting and yet, I have to acknowledge it exists…

I was dancing with him energetically, could see his face, even on Friday night.  Felt his presence after our Sacred Council and even today.  I just can’t feel his physical presence…

If we are indeed re-balancing the Sacred Masculine/Feminine archetype through our amazing connection, then what is the grand purpose of this separation or feeling separate, physically speaking.  And what is the Sacred Medicine that will bring him home, to rest?

I can see that in not knowing, I will embrace the pathless path…onward.  Another day, another year has begun.

Sometime last year, I decided to start writing about someone I called The Captain on my Facebook status messages, originally titled something like “Life with The Captain and other Stories.”  Facebook has limits on status length, which are even worse when you post via phone and I cannot include the title most times.

I released these status messages along with another set I called “The Goddess Chronicles”.  The Chronicles use the voice of a higher self or High Priestess and The Captain posts detail the intricacies and development of a relationship.

I get many questions and now have a growing fan base of people reading The Captain posts and leaving their thoughts on who, what and how.   I find the interaction on this quite intriguing.  More recently, I have posted other thoughts and had the occasional person ask me what The Captain would think on the issue!

The truth is, I started writing about The Captain because I longed to communicate something that could not be communicated in any other way – or so I thought.  I used The Goddess Chronicles as a means of expressing essential truths or thoughtforms that come to me as a priestess or spiritual person but don’t serve me to present them in my normal everyday voice but as a separate part of who I am.

I also thought of these posts as instructional or expanding in some way, food for thought or even contrast to what is normally considered a “status” message format on Facebook.  In other words, I wanted as a writer and artist to play with conventional forms of expression – ones status message – and use them as a form of communication of both a creative and instructional nature without sounding dogmatic or presumptuous.

The Captain however, is a character I developed through the medium of my own spiritual viewpoint – that we create our reality in the spiritual long before it shows up as physical reality.  I had been working with the Twinflame spirit bond as part of my spiritual work on the planet for many years – actually talking to and interacting with a spiritual form, sometimes appearing as one person or another in my life, although not necessarily of the romantic nature.

Through the medium of these meditations and telepathic conversations with someone I had not met or assumed was a particular person, I embarked on a many years long journey of self-development regarding the idea of creating the relationship (of a partnership variety) that would most benefit me and the planet.

It has since come to my attention through channeled guidance, that these relationships are intended to heal Gaia herself through the re-balancing of the Divine Masculine/Divine Feminine energies.  I am not the only spiritual practitioner creating and working with the partnership potential in this more holistic and less physical format.  I have now embarked on physical conversations with others in the same boat and there are definitely some patterns to our work which are of the common variety.

These relationships aren’t initially physical in nature but come through the medium of spiritual self-expression and understanding.  The common features so far seem to be that one partner is more awake or developed than the other and one partner (if not the same one) has the ability to perceive and/or hear their divine counterpart telepathically or feel them emotionally.

The other common pattern is that the people involved seem to come from a position of difficulty in relationship at the beginning of their lives – history of divorce, abuse, one bad relationship after another, or little perceived success with them but also a feeling that something is “out there.”

The conjoined energetic twins are housed in separate physical bodies and it is not necessary for them to be of the heterosexual variety but they would need to be balanced as in one partner is the Divine Masculine and the other the Divine Feminine of their soul group.

As the partners draw closer, the intensity of their bond is increased through the awakening process – which most often takes place separately but through the pull of wanting to meet their partner.  The difficult relationships seem to spawn the desire to “create” something better which in turn leads to a spiritual path of some sort that enables them to begin working more consciously on their contracts, which originated prior to incarnation.

Once one partner is awakened to the concept of consciously working on relationship through the medium of their telepathic-emotional bond, without the benefit of the physical presence of a person to mirror or reflect; the real work begins.   It is even at this point, that the awakened partner may meet their person physically but not be in a position emotionally/mentally or physically to do anything about the relationship.  Instead of the old paradigm – two ships passing in the night – it is more like the one ship going up and down the coast line for a safe harbor, but the harbor isn’t built yet.

There is no way to explain this process well to those who consider relationships in the purely physical sense, waxing lyrical about Match.com or E-Harmony and lamenting about how difficult it is to “find” someone.  While there is nothing wrong with such an existence or even in the building of contrast through a series of relationships, not intended to be lasting, the Twinflame is of a completely separate relationship model and is not subject to the usual physical laws.

I have even heard of people who say they understand the model and who are afraid of their Twinflame and I would also place them in the category of those only here to learn and grow in soulmate contracts (karmic) and series relationships rather than perform the divine medicine of the Twinflame.  This is not a path about “I” but one of “We.”

This path is not for the feint of heart or even of the cool variety or the person who thinks there is a choice upon incarnation about the work at hand.  Once committed, it is your path.  It is actually a separate, divine contract with Gaia and has less to do with romance than it does with balancing the Earth’s energies and restoring love as the blueprint for our creation model.

I have often described The Captain as both a person and a Spirit.  While I interact with him in the spiritual and develop the relationship through a series of processes, tests, quests and ups and downs, no different in some ways than a long-lasting marriage, I am not currently in a physical-based relationship with The Captain.

I do however, after all these years know where he is physically.  Nevertheless, I still have to be respectful of The Captain’s own process of enlightenment – a path which is wholly separate from mine, despite our energetic process.  This aught not to be public display but a private one although I am tasked with sharing some of it so that others may benefit from the knowledge we have gathered so far.

I think in the end, The Captain posts are a way to be playful and creative with my own personal version of the Story rather than an attempt in any way, shape or form to tell HIS side…It would be up to him to do that part or even to decide whether to share publically any aspect of his story.

In the end, when the time comes that the spiritual and physical become one – I may find myself either writing a different story or handling The Captain in a whole new way than what I have been doing so far.  I do not know even if I will feel the need to continue posting the story or if the story will turn into some other expression or creative outlet entirely.  That is yet to be seen.

I think it goes without saying that some of what I post is not physically accurate for the purpose of occluding the reality of my circumstance and protecting the “innocent” but the energy of the posts is accurate and intended to share the complexities of the path both heart-warming and heart-wrenching at times.

What I have uncovered in this process includes past life relationships, hardship, working with energy, healing, healing work, partnerships with other supporters all flowing toward a more balanced energy here in the planet.  We are joined, not separate.  What one person does effects the other and we’re all in this dance together.

This is a loving Tango…unmasking love in its highest forms…letting go, letting go, letting go…FEELING.  And the more we practice, the more we are learning and developing and growing – Together.

The sacred words.  When I attended Deena Metzger’s Council in Topanga in January of 2008 – my meditations brought to me the concept of “Sacred Words,” the medicine for my suffering — for the suffering of all people.  While I didn’t understand the power then of those messages from Spirit, I certainly have a better grasp of them now.

Our words, thoughts, songs, music – has meaning beyond the simple statement or stanza….

They have power, energy, vibration…  They have the power to heal and the power to kill, even when a physical blow is not a part of them.

Words are Sacred.  How we use them and to what intention or purpose we give them is something we need to think about more often than we do.

My words are Sacred.  What rolls off my tongue, or floats through my mind or even gets put onto the page of my book…becomes powerful.  What is the nature of that power?  Will they be healing words or will they cause more war and division?

I do not always choose my words carefully.  I see the misuse of power some days.  I see that some fear or feeling of lack in me causes me to abuse my Sacred Words.  I derive from the archangel realm of Kamiel – the realm of light, power and energy.  Magic in vibration.

We Kamielites are here to teach the right use of power.  Our journeys often include many instances of the wrong use of power – either by ourselves or by others so we learn the lessons of True Power.

Our healing is transformative and our power is obvious.  Sometimes Kamielites are intimidating to others – after all we have not been in our power much in these societies in which we exist.  It is scary to take the reins of personal power and be truly in sync with who we are.

As artists and visionaries, we are gifted with words, song, music, dance, painting skill…We have sacred art at our disposal to communicate through a medium for others so they may process that which they do not understand.  We hold great power.

Are we using our skill for Sacred Purpose?  Are we thinking of WE instead of I?

These are the questions we must ask ourselves as we hold our ground in our artistry.  Are we being sacred even to our gifts?  Or are we at odds, even with our own selves – banishing our creative potential into a six figure job that “pays the bills” while our hearts languish or abusing our temple with drugs, alcohol, food…simply to avoid the suffering.

The suffering of our world is sometimes overwhelming.  But it is our job to FEEL it…and embrace it rather than tune out.  When we embrace and feel the suffering, then we have power within that avoiding suffering dissolves.  We have the power to discover the Sacred Medicine in our Story.

The one TRUTH that enables us to change all things is our personal Sacred Medicine.  It is not a small thing for me to use my words.  Words for me are Sacred entities.  They change things for the better or the worst.

If I misuse my Sacred Words in a moment of anger, I can feel once again the deep bite of suffering.  My own body rebels in tears and sweat.  When I say something meaningful in the moment it is called for, a great opening occurs.  A healing moment.

My words are healing even as I write them.  I lost my Belovéd Teebo – familiar and companion on Veteran’s Day – 11/11.  A day of opening into the power of Sacred Love.  There are no coincidences.  The day marks the ascension for me into the deep bond of love we shared and also the ability he provided through his healing gift of self-love.  I did not know that gift before our meeting.  I know it now.

What is the power that you hold within – that untapped healing power – of the Sacred?  What is your Sacred Medicine that heals all things?