The upheavals and changes on the planet most recently defined by the earthquake in Japan and the shifts in middle east politics left me feeling like I was dying last week.  I couldn’t explain this in any other language.

I was on my knees, it seemed emotionally or spiritually.  I could see that others were also…it seemed like the perfect time to go to my mentor Deena Metzger’s blog and homepage to see if she had some words of wisdom.  She didn’t disappoint.

She had written a letter on her page in a call to action to build sacred communities – that the visions she was receiving from Spirit had suggested, perhaps that the next Buddha indeed would not be an individual but a group of like-minded/hearted folks.

I mentioned the idea of a Sacred Council of women to my friend Paulie and she jumped on the idea, immediately suggesting she could email a group of friends to invite them.  By Saturday’s full moon (not seen in Minneapolis due to weather conditions) we were sitting at The Healing Loft in Minneapolis, calling Spirit and weaving a Story.

We wove a Story of heartbreak, heartache and deep survival.  I witnessed and participated in a transformation so profound, I have no words yet to describe what I felt and saw.

We entered into our Full Moon Goddess archetype and created powerful intention.

We awakened to a new world, one that Deena terms the 5^th World, when we let go of our participation in the old ways, the ways that kept us separate and hurting and embraced instead the idea of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with six other glorious goddesses and embraced a new intention.

I spent the rest of the weekend learning how to officiate curling events.  I can’t see my role in community-building without acknowledging, once again, the awesome lessons that the community of curlers has given me since I started curling in September.

They pulled me from the suffering of rejection and disconnection, and brought me together into wholeness, once again placing me on the path of Sacred Community.  I fell in love with granite rocks and ice and opened my mind to new frontiers.  It’s been an awesome journey and bittersweet now that the curling season is winding down in favor of sun and better weather.

I can sense spring has arrived, as we celebrate Ostara and the Full Moon has lit up our horizons.   The god of time and space has moved the wheel of the year once more.  We are celebrating new births on so many levels both within and without while becoming more than we ever expected.

What is your biggest challenge now to letting go of your participation in the old ways?  How can we follow the No Enemy Way and embrace the concept of All Our Relations.  What do we want to create now that we are thinking so differently?

I am struck, once again by my connection to The Captain.  His presence was felt so strongly at the 10^th Anniversary of Transmission show held at First Avenue on Friday night.  He might as well have been dancing in the room there with me.  I kept searching the crowd for him.

Instead, I embraced the energy of his participating in the re-balancing of Gaia.  I felt the anxiety and deep emotion of the last week melt away into the ground as I danced with people in close proximity sharing love and the love of awesome music.  Men and women just simply enjoying the vibe and I realized that I could recognize so many faces in the crowd from my Twin Cities life…

It was an awesome testament to the sheer audacity of moving here a year ago this week.  Yes, it’s been a whole year — an amazing year.  A year marked with heartache and treachery as well as graceful and amazing community.  I feel embraced by this place.  I feel at home.

The Captain is shifting also – moving, perhaps.  Internally, externally…hard to say.  I can sense the flow changing between us and yet I do not know where it leads, just yet.  Deena Metzger says to embrace not knowing.  I struggle with this concept sometimes.  I struggle with it, in particular when it comes to The Captain.  I don’t want to impose my wanting and yet, I have to acknowledge it exists…

I was dancing with him energetically, could see his face, even on Friday night.  Felt his presence after our Sacred Council and even today.  I just can’t feel his physical presence…

If we are indeed re-balancing the Sacred Masculine/Feminine archetype through our amazing connection, then what is the grand purpose of this separation or feeling separate, physically speaking.  And what is the Sacred Medicine that will bring him home, to rest?

I can see that in not knowing, I will embrace the pathless path…onward.  Another day, another year has begun.

A friend told me today that she was working on seeing people in a completely new way…as complete with their highs and lows, quirks and annoying habits as well as all their positives.  What a thought pattern change.  The shift enabled the other person to come more fully into their complete selves rather than act out roles or projections of others and some mutually satisfying results ensued.

What would life be like if we just became more open to the possibilities instead of living in limitations and skewed viewpoints of how things “should be.”  Maybe your friends or relatives don’t always act with the best intentions but who cares?  Neither do you.  Life is not black or white.

You’d be much better off if you can see what your friends are mirroring for you.  If there’s something you don’t like or that annoys you – what about that behavior is speaking to a part of you that isn’t being seen or recognized?  Guess what – it’s never about the other person…

Moving to Minneapolis has been challenging for me, to say the least.  Not everything has worked out perfectly, and some things like having my ring stolen from my hotel room, were downright violating.  I could have used that as a sign that things just weren’t meant to be, packed up my stuff and gone back to my comfort zone.

Except if I remember how boring my comfort zone had become before I chose to come to Minneapolis on this adventure, I might think again.

Friday I went to the Eitel building on Willow for L’Etoile Magazine’s Imagination Mechanism event.  I ate dinner at the Loring Park Kitchen dusted off with one of their yummy pomegranate martinis.  A girl could get used to this life.  The wait staff was really friendly and made me want to stick around for more but I had business to attend to up on the rooftop next door.

I can picture it now – cool apartment in the Eitel building and dinners/martinis at Loring Park Kitchen.  No one has accused me of dreaming too small.

All the fashion peeps from the Voltage show were there including Emma Berg wearing something ostentatiously frilly and fantastic from her collection with blue shoes (ok, I am sure there is a much more specific color to insert here such as teal?).  There were others with carefully selected vintage and still others with fur and fun baubles.  It’s all good at an L’Etoile party, I can see that now.

Still more fun ensued as we watched first hand the makings of the photo shoot L’Etoile has posted to their blog now (see link on the sidebar of this one) and our inner artist children all had way too much fun cutting and pasting magazines, creating our own fashion shoot layout storyboards.  Woo hoo!

Saturday was raining here in Minneapolis on and off.  I took Death Trap Suzie – the shared apartment bicycle – out to the lakes for a bit of toodling around the local bike trails and waterways.  I found it extremely uplifting and relaxing to eat my tuna fish sandwich, carrots and Doritos by the lake side while watching someone else fish.

The homes around the lakes made me consider living there too, someday.  I could totally see myself with an in home music studio for singer-songwriter parties, fashionable BBQs held in the outdoor kitchen and as my friend Luke said, once a month metal jams so as not to leave out any of the local metalheads.

(Insert pic of new home construction here)  – when it’s all ready to go I’ll invite you over for a soiree.

Saturday night I bussed it down to Washington. The bus driver went right past my stop, causing me to have to walk down Hennepin even longer than originally expected, and all the way down Washington to Club Jager (in heels!).  Please don’t try this sort of foolishness, especially when it begins to drizzle.  I grew up in England so a spot of rain doesn’t bother me as much as it might you.

People were already busting a move on the dance floor with Attitude City minus Karl and substituted handily with Ben Hribar.  I was accused of being the DJs girlfriend (yes, I answered, I’m girlfriend to both — best they don’t realize they made a polygamous commitment without knowing it), had my foot stomped on and my teeth almost knocked out (by the couple who was swing dancing into everyone) and given hugs by complete strangers.   How much more fun, exactly could a girl have and still be wearing clothes?

Circling back to openness… I know I’d like to get it all done, and all done now.  No doubt if I were to practice a bit more with my magic wand, I might just be able to do it.  Still, I only just saw Minneapolis for the first time last July and here I am sitting in the uptown Dunn Bros writing blogs.  What can I say?  I’m an over-achiever.  Come on, you know you are too sometimes!?

While you most certainly can’t do everything – there are so many things you can do.  While there are people you might not impress no matter how awesome your dance moves, your skill at writing or how electric your smile is, there are so many who will enjoy what you do and open their hearts, minds and souls to the gifts you bring forward.

No matter what people seem to be “doing” or “not doing” around me there is a place in the cosmic web for what I do.  Maybe I don’t always like what’s in the now but I realize there’s a complexity there, a Story where I am not always reading all the words, but could be.

I don’t give up too easily.  I just keep showing up knowing that with my open heart and the awesome love I have for the world filled with music, I just might win the hearts of even the most stubborn of you!  And if I don’t — I am having a damn good time without you.